Schools come together to learn about kindness, anti-bullying

By Tanya Connor
The Catholic Free Press

The person you might bully – or watch getting bullied – is not that different from you. You can choose kindness, help stop bullying and make a difference.

Students from five Catholic schools in the diocese came together Oct. 8 to hear that message from a woman who was bullied for her looks as a young person.

Kara Jackman, adult programs coordinator for the Children’s Craniofacial Association, gave the talk and showed pictures on a large screen for the junior high anti-bullying program at St. Paul Diocesan Jr./Sr. High School.  

Father Jose F. Carvajal, St. Paul’s head of school, opened the event by talking and praying about the importance of expanding our capacity to love and understand, to be what Jesus calls us to be, thus making the world different. He told students they are already making a difference.

St. Paul’s is “very committed” to kindness, “recognizing we are all children of God,” Karen Fuller, assistant principal for student life, told The Catholic Free Press.

“We can tell the truth” when talking about bullying, she said of Catholic schools, which are free to proclaim that “Jesus is the answer, and the source of our love for one another.”  

St. Paul’s invited several Catholic schools to the presentation, she said. Four took up the offer: St. Peter Central Catholic Elementary in Worcester, St. Bernard Elementary in Fitchburg, Trinity Catholic Academy in Southbridge and All Saints Academy in Webster. In all, about 200 students in grades 5-8 attended, Mrs. Fuller said.

“We were just really glad to be able to share that message” with St. Paul’s students and guests, she said.

She said she and Sarah Coddington, St. Paul’s guidance counselor, arranged for the presentation. Over the summer, their students entering seventh grade read the book “Wonder,” by R.J. Palacio, from which a movie was made, Mrs. Fuller said. In September, they studied it in English class. Students in many schools read the book – about a boy with craniofacial deformities who looks different on the outside, but is a “regular kid” on the inside – she said. That’s why St. Paul’s chose a person with craniofacial differences to speak.

“I was born with cleft lip and palate,” Ms. Jackman told the students, adding that she had 22 surgeries. “It was tough growing up, getting poked and prodded,” and, at school, “poked with questions” and being taunted.

She felt like “Wonder” was her story; “when the book came out, hundreds of kids … told their story.”

Ms. Jackman told the students about her interests and asked what they like, to illustrate that people have much in common.

Kindness is a choice anyone can make at any time, she said.

She also gave pointers for what to do if they see bullying happening: Distract the bully; delegate someone else to help, such as a responsible adult; document the bullying by recording what happens; delay the problem by moving the victim away from the bully and be direct, talking to the bully. If more than one person is doing those things, that creates a more loving world, Ms. Jackman said.  

A student asked what her “biggest” advice is to “kids our age.”

“Please be kind to one another,” she responded. “The world is so fraught with anger. … Don’t make life more difficult than it needs to be.”  

Students sang and clapped as Manoel Ropiario, St. Paul’s music teacher, concluded the program with a medley of the songs “Count on Me” and “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.”